I received a particularly disturbing email from someone I love yesterday. Someone I have a long association with. Someone who is dear to me. Someone with miles to go before he "sleeps." It was full of harsh, hateful, and judgmental comments about others. I'm glad I was in a hurry, because my natural tendency as has been sometimes recently, was to reply in kind and point out how vile his thinking was. I did not have time to respond in the moment. Such a lesson for me! There are times I have used wisdom and paused, but more often than not, the fiery words within me get composed and sent. Last night as I was preparing for bed, I decided to read a bit in Today I Begin a New Life.
While reading about the Art of Connection and Intrinsic Validation, I read these words from Og Mandino.
And how will I confront each whom I meet? In only one way. In silence and to myself I will address him and say I Love You. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkle my brow, bring a smile to my lips and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened. And who is there who will say nay to my goods when his heart feels my love?
And my stony heart warmed. I do love this person, important to me. I do not love their actions and their words. But I can respond with love! Dave's summary is this:
When we lift, we attract instead of repel. As walls come down, floods of cooperation and productivity fill 0ur cups. When we focus on serving others with Agape love–charity, the English translation for the Greek word Agape–we are not sacrificed on the altar of life, as we have often feared, but instead we drink from living waters and thirst no more. We give up nothing and gain everything. (emphasis mine)
I KNEW intrinsically that responding in kind would only bring more of the same. But with love, there is an invitation for change, an invitation to see, an invitation to learn. I've known since I was 7 years old that I wanted to teach. It took most of my life to figure out in what capacity. 40 years later, I am finally getting it.
This morning as I came home from taking my children to school, I listened to Og's second scroll. I will begin each day with love in my heart. As I listened to those beautiful words, my heart was warmed even more, and there were more tears. Some days when I am not feeling particularly humble, I think I've reached a pretty great place in my life personally. Today I realized fully how much room there is for improvement!
These words touched me deeply.
yet my love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest clay.…I will love all manners of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they be hidden. With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built round their hearts and in its place will I build bridges so that my love may enter their souls.
Yes, there is certainly room for improvement. I invite you to join me. Love yourself, love "all manners of men", change the world by greeting each day with love in your heart. I will. Will you? I found one little gem of positivity in the words I received. I ignored every single negative and responded with love to that one gem. We'll see how it goes.
For the full scroll, listen here.
How does it make you feel to look at THIS picture? There are a lot of people who stay away from the dentist because of a phobia. Phobias come in all shapes and sizes, but I'm addressing this one because I was in the chair this week. I hadn't needed work for years, but a filling and a crown were apparently in order. I would not say I have any fear of the dentist, nevertheless, when the very large needle went in my mouth in several places, I felt an emotional jolt. And it was upsetting. I know now, after working with people for years with emotional trauma, that even a little one is best not being ignored. So, while they were out waiting for my mouth to numb, I just began to tap the EFT points gently and address 'this dental trauma." Some may find it silly, but I was feeling tense and I did not want it to get worse. Well I felt the anxiety immediately begin to release, and within a couple of minutes I was completely relaxed and slipping into sleep.
The dentist had a new toy/tool (torture device). An anti-tongue thruster. My name for it. It looked like a purple lolly pop that he put across my tongue and made me bite down on. The only problem was, it made me feel like I wanted to gag. And so, while there were 4 hands and multiple tools in my face, I just began to gently tap the karate chop point to help ease the rising tension. After awhile, I again felt calm. And the next time he went to put the tongue tamer back into my mouth, I asked him if we could please skip it, which he kindly did.
Later in the evening, as the novacaine began to wear off and the pain began to appear, I again used tapping to keep from becoming anxious and to keep the pain from escalating.
Do you have a dental phobia? It can be easily resolved with EFT. Give me a call or Contact me.
To find out more about EFT, see: http://dailyabundance.net/free
Guest post from my friend and fellow practioner Arden Compton.
Unexpected Success – Bowling
A few years ago I took my family bowling. The bowling alley here in Brigham City was giving away a turkey to anyone who bowled 3 strikes in a row. So, off we went to try our luck. Now, I am not a serious bowler; throughout my life, I have probably gone bowling about once a year … maybe less. I usually bowl somewhere between 100 and 120. If I get over 120, it is a good game for me – if I get into the 130's – that's a really good game.
So, getting three strikes in a row wasn't likely – I might get 2 or 3 strikes in a game, but not in a row. In my first frame, I knocked over 8 pins, not bad. But I thought about how fun it would be to win a turkey and I decided to try some EFT. On my next turn, as I held the ball in my right hand, I tapped with my left hand on the face points and repeated in my mind, This fear of not making a strike.
It took a little over five seconds to tap through that. This time I bowled a spare (meaning I knocked all the pins over in two tries), but was only one pin away from getting a strike. Each turn for the rest of the game, I went through the same tapping process. The next frame I bowled a strike! But on my next turn two frames I bowled a spare – I needed three strikes in a row.
I was feeling pretty good about my game at this point; I was on track to an above-average score for me. Then the next frame I bowled a strike, and the following frame I bowled another strike! At this point I did a little tapping before my next turn, there was a little pressure because I was going for the turkey on this one. I tapped on Fear of messing up the third strike ” fear of not getting a strike. I also tapped five seconds or so after I picked up my ball. And sure enough, I got a third strike!
I was so excited, I yelled loud enough for everyone in the bowling alley to hear me, "I won a turkey!" My wife and kids all gave me high fives. I ran over to the desk and had all the bowling alley employees give me a high five, there were some friends of mine several lanes down, I ran over to them and had them give me high fives. So, the next time I got the ball I tapped again, and I got another strike! Four in a row! And then I got another strike, and another one, and another one! Seven strikes in a row by the time the game ended. I bowled a 236, 100 points beyond what I thought would be a really good game. Our friends even asked me to come bowl on their lane so I could help them win a turkey. On their lane, I bowled another strike.
However, I started having some uncertainty because I didn't think the bowling alley wanted me to win a turkey for other people – thus the next frame I ended the streak with a spare. I excused that by saying, "The ball slipped from my fingers," which it had, but I am almost certain it was because of those inner doubts about winning a turkey for someone else that I "sabotaged" it.
As I look at what allowed me to have this unexpected success, the first thing was I thought about how fun it would be to win a turkey. I wasn’t worried about embarrassing myself by not winning a turkey, I had nothing to loose. If I bowled my usual game and didn’t win a turkey, so what? Not a concern. But the idea of winning a turkey just felt really fun, and that raised my vibration.
Something I wasn’t not consciously aware of at the time was that when I considered bowling a turkey, and the idea “felt fun”, at some level I saw myself winning the turkey, and believed it enough that I felt the fun sensation, I felt my vibration raise. If I had seen it in my minds eye with absolutely no belief, it would not have created that fun emotion, I would have felt doubt, or stress, or possibly nothing. But given that the idea felt fun, at some level I saw it happening and enjoyed that experience before it happened. This was not at a conscious level; if you asked me, “Do you think you can bowl a turkey?” I probably would have answered, “I don’t know, never have, but it would be fun.”
Then I used EFT to help calm me and remove fear of not getting a strike. These two things helped me bowl a spare, a strike, and then two more spares. This was really good for me, and my excitement level rose, I was doing good! The bowling pins were always willing to cooperate, they always obeyed the laws of physics. As I raised my vibration with more joy and excitement, and the bowling pins yielded and began falling down every time I rolled the ball down the lane. Everything came together in support of this higher energy.
Something else interesting is that I had not set a goal to bowl eight strikes in a row. I simply thought about how fun it would be to win turkey, removed my fear of not making a strike, and the results were much better than I would have considered possible. People attach a lot of unnecessary conditions to success; they think they have to work hard for long periods of time, they have to stress, they have to practice a lot. Now, I have to be careful here, I am not saying we shouldn’t practice or work hard, but in the end that is not what is most important in success. Loving what you are doing and enjoying what you are doing is much more important for your success than your work ethic or your skill level. I had not done my due diligence to bowl eight strikes in a row; I had not been working hard, I had not been practicing, I did not have the skill level to do that. I only thought of it after I started bowling. But in that moment when I unwittingly raised my vibration by imagining how fun it would be and removed all fear, everything came together for me. All the elements honored this higher vibration; even the elements of my body led me to send the ball down the lane at a skill level far above my own. So, whatever we are we are working towards in life, we need to make sure we are loving the present moment, excited about what we are doing in the present moment, and look forward with hope. We may not know exactly what the results will be, in fact we need to be completely unattached as to what the results will be. When we are in a state of love and joyful anticipation, enjoying the present moment, unattached to what the results will be, things turn out better than we could possibly plan or orchestrate on our own. All things are possible!
Something else that is interesting is that since this I bowled 8 strikes in a row, I have gone bowling maybe a half a dozen times. I used ascribe my success to the fact that I had tapped on ‘fear of not making a strike’ before each turn. However, each of the times since then my score has been back to where it was before, somewhere between 100 and 120, even though I tapped in much the same way. How come I wasn’t able to repeat the success?
First, I worried about failure, I felt I had something to prove. I wasn’t happily thinking about success, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do it again. Also, I was very attached to the results of roll of the ball, I needed it to be a strike, and it rarely was. I wasn’t thinking about how fun it would be to bowl a turkey, I had some fear if I couldn’t repeat the process it would discredit me and EFT. So, I wasn’t anywhere near the vibration I had when I bowled 8 strikes in a row. Instead of being happy and feeling good, I was worried and concerned. Both times the laws of physics cooperated with my vibration, supported my vibration. What I thought gave me success the first time (EFT tapping) was really only a minor part of the equation, otherwise I would have experienced more success on subsequent trips to the bowling alley. What made the biggest difference with me not caring about the results, but being excited about the idea of winning a turkey and enjoying the present moment.
I got an unexpected call last night from someone who needed help. They knew my experience with EFT and wanted me to help them overcome a challenge. Years ago, I often used to say that I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave to help take pain and suffering from people. I am GRATEFUL BEYOND WORDS that I now have knowledge that I can do that.
I've helped people with many physical ailments including pain, physical damage to various parts of the body, asthma, heart irregularities, constipation, someone choking (not the heimlich), general stress, and more. I've helped people with addictions ranging from smoking, chewing, pot, food, chocolate, sugar, soda, pornography, usually quite easily. What can EFT help?
I've helped people completely eliminate emotions like grief, anger, anxiety, depression, fear, hatred, personality conflicts, and the like. I've helped two people completely recover from PTSD.
I've saved our family thousands of dollars in doctor and therapy bills. And I've gained so much satisfaction by seeing faces and lives change because of a simple technique that is easy to learn, easy to apply, and is THE MOST EFFECTIVE natural treatment I have ever seen or used in over 20 years of study of natural methods.
I know intimately, beyond doubt, what stress and emotions do to the body. Everything you feel is recorded in every cell of your body (Molecules of Emotion, Candance Pert). Stress really does take a toll on your physical body. The mind and body are TOTALLY connected. I've never seen an easier way to relax, to sleep better, to feel more peaceful, than to spend 5 minutes or less, just tapping on acupressure points. You can literally see changes in a person's face and body when you help them apply EFT.
The creator of EFT has a motto. "Try it on everything." And I do. I wish others could really know how amazing EFT is. You don't have to believe. You just have to try. There are very few things I hate. But I really HATE to see people suffering and know that I can do something about it. That they can do something about it. That there is an almost magical way to let go of those feelings and continue to embrace the happiness in life. I've seen it over and over and over….hundreds of times now.
My weakness comes in thinking I can do anything. I know that is not really true. But I've seen so many impossible things become instantly possible, that it gives me over confidence. Nonetheless, the technique is so effective, I can hardly help thinking it. I have almost NEVER failed to see improvement. I can only think of one time. And 80-90% of the time, those I help see TOTAL resolution. It's not me, it's the technique.
There are other healing techniques similar to EFT, but this is the one I know. This one is simple. This one anyone can learn. So, I just continue to try to learn things to help my technique and application. If you've never heard of it, please feel free to ask. Not everything resolves in moments, or easily. But I've seen things that take years of therapy resolve in hours. I am not a therapist. I am simply an educator and practitioner of EFT. It works. Let me know if I can help.
EFT = Emotional Freedom Techniques = www.dailyabundance.net
Every once in awhile I run across someone who says they have diligently tried EFT and it just doesn't work for him or her. I have only met two people in six years that have found no benefit to EFT. One was a hurried appointment who I wanted to prove something to and he was also highly skeptical. If I'd had more time and a chance to really let go of the outcomes and do some good investigative work, I might only be talking about one. But, that's ok. NOTHING works 100% of the time. I can accept that. But EFT has such an amazingly high response rate. If that's true, why in the world might it not work?
There are several explanations as to why EFT may be taking longer than necessary or why it isn't working at all. I want to focus on massive psychological reversal. But before I do, here are the quick impediments to great results.
Like pieces of a puzzle, there may be many aspects to an experience. And while you may get relief from the trauma of a car accident by tapping on the headlights you saw just before impact, it may take also addressing the fight before you got in the car, the screams at the time of impact, the fear that coursed through you, and your inability to now drive at night. (Just for examples).
Sometimes things take time. And while it is NOT uncommon to get amazingly fast results with EFT, sometimes it just takes a little extra work. It may take tapping on the issue several times a day for several days or weeks. If you begin to forget to tap on the issue, check in. Chances are it may be gone.
Being too general
The more specific you are, the better. Tapping on "even though I was abused as a child" is not nearly as specific as "even though my father slapped me across the face when I was 7." See the difference? Even more so, "even though I was so afraid of my dad because he slapped me across the face when I was 7."
Similar to an allergy, it is any substance in, on, or around you that for whatever reason disrupts your energy flow. Common ones include sugar, wheat, tea, alcohol, nicotine, corn, caffeine, perfume, herbs, dairy, electromagnetic fields, or something that is unique to you and your system.
Any serious disease, depression, addiction, or chronic negative thinking.
There is not enough room in a blog post to go into this. But it is basically when your subconscious hides the reasons from you as to why you are not getting better. There may be secondary gains for NOT getting better. So, you may really want to lose weight, but you don't realize you have deep feelings that it is not safe to lose weight. Perhaps you may have had unwanted advances. Perhaps you were ridiculed as a child. There could be any number of reasons. But for all intents and purposes, if you are psychologically reversed, it's like having the batteries in backwards. You can push all the buttons you want, but nothing is going to happen.
Even if you know all of the above, and you know how and have tried to remedy with advanced EFT techniques, there may be a very few cases where it is still difficult to get results. One thing to try is called Collarbone breathing. You will have to take my half day or whole day class for that demonstration. The other is MASSIVE Psychological Reversal. The setup statement on the karate chop spot or sore spot is designed to correct PR. It only takes a few seconds and almost always works. Sometimes it is NOT needed because a full 40% of people are not reversed. That's good news.
But there are some who seem to have a brick wall around their issues and there is no way to get past it. That is MASSIVE PR. So, what can you do? EFT Master's Carol Look and Lindsey Kinney both have ways of getting around it that I have read through and will summarize.
The most common reasons are not wanting to, not being safe to, not deserving of, not wanting to forgive. The answer. Tap on those things. You might do several rounds on the following statements.
Even though I don't really want to get over this…
Even though it's not safe for me to…
Even though I don't deserve to…
Even though I can't forgive ______ for what they did…
Even though I don't know who I'll be without…
Even though I won't have any more excuses…
Even though I don't know what normal feels like…
Even though I'm afraid to let it go…
Even though there may be a reason I don't know….
Once you have tried these kinds of phrases (and you may know right away which ones are right on), you can then return to normal tapping phrases for the thing you are working on. Give it a try and see if that doesn't get the results you've been hoping for.